Day 59: Final Moments + Honorable Mention

Today I learned...
...that people can hear you even when they are minutes from death. I sat with a patient today who was imminently dying. He was unconscious, breathing in a labored fashion, and unresponsive. And he was alone. So I sat there for almost an hour and I talked to him. It's a little embarrassing even to say here, but I told him that he didn't have to be afraid. I told him that his angels were with him. I told him that he didn't have to wait for anyone or anything. And then, because some people wait for someone to be near and some people wait to be all alone, I told him, "I'll be right back" so he would know I was leaving, and I went out. He died within 5 minutes. I truly believe he heard and wanted to take his last breath in peace.

Today I am thankful for...
...this email I received!

Dear Arielle,

It is with pleasure to inform you that you have received an Honorable Mention for the Polizzi Award for this year. Congratulations! Phyllis & I nominated you with the attached nomination write up. Voting was done via all faculty from all of our MSW programs at our last meeting. Your honorable mention recognition will be presented to you at the Spring Field Colloquium in Scranton on Wed. March 27th & you will be recognized along with the MSW Polizzi Award Winner at this year's Graduate Hooding Ceremony. We are honored to have you as the honorable mention recipient of this award! I am hopeful that you will be able to attend to receive the recognition that you so deserve at each venue! Congratulations! I am copying your field liaison and current & past field instructors on this announcement as well to share this good news! Thank you for all you do as an MSW student & soon to be social worker! Congratulations!


The Polizzi Medal is awarded to a graduating MSW who overall in the SSWAS stands out in class, in field, and in the social work profession and community, etc. The award recognizes the student for outstanding educational performance and service in the filed of social work. The Word document that was attached to the email (the nomination essay itself that was composed by the faculty) was so long and touching and so filled with kind words that it brought tears to my eyes. I am not sharing it, because I'm too embarrassed and it made me blush. The person who won the first place award goes to school in Scranton (a couple hours away) so is unknown to me...as I was unknown to many of the faculty up there who vote on this recipient of this award. As per a conversation I had with Dr. Black a few days ago, I think Dr. Black (Phyllis, the director of my social work program) was a little upset that I did not win, because the instructors on the other campus don't know me. BUT I WAS SO HONORED JUST TO BE NOMINATED let alone win the honorable mention. I tried to impress this upon her. I really am blessed.

Day 58: Sharing + Spring Break

Today I learned...
...(or re-learned?) that sharing good experiences with people is part of what makes them so good! "Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow" has always been one of my favorite proverbs. 

Today I am thankful for...
...spring break from grad school officially beginning! I have no class for a week. YAY! I need the down time. Work and hospice will continue...but no classes at night until March 11th!

Day 57: Cat Angel + Cat Healers

Today I learned...
...that there is a beautiful little cat who lives at a nursing home here in my city. She has lived there for YEARS and mingles with all the old folks on the floor on which she lives. She is 21 years old which equals 100 human years exactly. She fits right in with all the other elderly residents! She was a doll of a cat and just so friendly. I watched her hang out with some old ladies while I was there and heard her little purr. She sleeps in a basket on the counter top of the nurses station. This cat. God. She was so sweet and skinny and old - JUST like a little old lady. There are a lot of residents and she just trots (very slowly) down the hallways between wheelchairs! It was so special!

Today I am thankful for...
...my own kitties...who talk to me individually, run to greet me at the door when I come home, snuggle me for hours, and who have LONG lives ahead of them! I credit them (especially Tumbler) with healing a lot of my "baby emptiness" and can often be found whispering "Thank you" into their little faces when we cuddle at night. :-)

Day 56: Necessary Time + Dinner Invitation

Today I learned...
...that using a vacation day to write a paper is NOT a waste - it's a necessity.

Today I am thankful for...
...a dinner invitation for this coming Saturday night - to see my parents, my brother, his wife, and my little niece! :-)

Day 55: Process + Angels

Today I learned...
...that it takes more than a day to process a day like the one I had yesterday.

Today I am thankful for...
...a small package I received in the mail from someone I don't even know. It held a small gift and it has to do with angels. Considering the day I had yesterday involved an angel reading, it all seems so serendipitous.

Day 54: Powerful Happenings + Immense (International) Friendship

 

Today I learned...

...that extremely powerful things can happen when so much good energy is together. 

Today I am thankful for...

...the fantastic opportunity to meet the beautiful women in the above photo. Each one of them is so pure in her own way, so creative, and so inspiring. I sense SO MANY good times in our future and I feel so blessed to have been able to enjoy a full day of magic with Jenn and Rachel, followed by a dinner of laughter with them and Lisa, Kendra, and Caroline. I will never forget the day!

Day 53: Helping + Day Off

Today I learned...
...that people are often more willing to help you than you think they are. I have a lot of work at my job. A LOT. My caseload is out of control for the number of hours I am employed. My co-worker told me she would help me and sternly told me not to argue with her, but to leave any work I didn't get to for her to do, since I am going to be in NYC tomorrow for a day off. Her logic is: "You'd do it for me."

Today I am thankful for...
...my day off tomorrow...because it means I can visit NYC!

Day 52: Sleep + Plans

Today I learned...
...that I need more sleep!!!! I need to abide by my self-imposed bedtime of 11pm. I haven't been lately and it's starting to catch up with me.

Today I am thankful for...
...making plans with friends. Everything all coming together perfectly for my trip to NYC is making me even more excited than I was before! I actually get to see another NYC friend now!!! I can't get over this! :-)

Day 51: Rushing + Compliments

Today I learned...
...that the day is only as rushed as we make it. I was going going going since I woke up and work was hectic and I felt like I couldn't breathe or even go to the bathroom for a break...my phone was ringing off the hook, I was being paged every 5 minutes, and I felt disorganized. Then I realized - I can breathe whenever I feel like breathing. And since I'm not performing brain surgery, everything else can wait. Self pep talks are the best kind. :-)

Today I am thankful for...
...a really nice compliment in the form of some recognition from the director of my social work program. More to come on that, but for now I'm thankful for her kind words.

Day 50: Friend Meet-Ups + A Message

Today I learned...
...that my amazing friends were together in NYC having a beautiful day. While my heart longs to be with them, it was so fantastic knowing they were FINALLY together and enjoying every moment. On Saturday I get to finally see this friend from the UK (it's been about SIX years which is a long time coming!) and the dear NYC friend who was with her today. The anticipation is killing me. Seeing photos of them together today made me so happy. It was truly a dream fulfilled... and I'm so eager to get in on that dream!

Today I am thankful for...
...a truly touching and beautiful message from a friend that brought tears to my eyes. Tonight I was blown away. Words cannot describe the selfless generosity she demonstrated and how much it meant to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You know who you are.

Day 49: Classmates + Alone Time

Today I learned...
...that some of my classmates think what I do in my "free" time is amazing. I am so flattered by that, but also so encouraged to keep doing the things I do. I love doing all the things I do and hope my classmates know that they inspire me too. :-)

Today I am thankful for...
...some time alone without distractions. Since it's Presidents' Day, I had class tonight, but no work today. So I spent the afternoon at Wegmans in the upstairs cafe...and though I people-watched, bogged briefly, and of course left my Monday letter for a stranger, I also worked on a paper I desperately need to finish. When it's just me and my laptop, I feel more productive.

Day 48: Cat Attention + a Safe Arrival

Today I learned...
...that Juice thrives on time alone with me. She was in my writing room with me for hours today while I was writing papers for grad school. Tumbler was shut out because he gets into things and distracts me, and after he had stopped crying and went on his way, it was just me and Juice and she loved it. She slept and purred and snuggled and talked and was just so happy to have one on one time. Haha.

Today I am thankful for...
...my friend Rachel landing safely in America! She's here! On my continent! In my country! And while she has fun in NYC this week, I am one step closer to seeing her on Saturday!

Day 47: Addiction Empathy + Momma

Today I learned...
...having had an eating disorder makes me understand alcoholism really, really well. Of course, I've made the correlations before. If I struggled with an addictive sort of mental illness in the past, it makes sense that I would be empathetic towards people who struggle with alcoholism. But tonight, watching the new movie Flight (Denzel Washington) with Rick, I realized that I watched the whole movie with a hyper-empathetic social worker lense. And I totally connected to the place the main character comes from, not because I learned about it in books and graduate classes, but because I GET IT. Now, I'm not going to pretend that I know what it's like to be a person with alcoholism. I don't. Yet, I tend to be a lot more understanding regarding addictions than the typical world at large...because the pain that happens when something is so terribly out of your control is a feeling I once knew too well.


Today I am thankful for...
...seeing my mom at lunch. Since I work down the street, I popped over at lunch time to see my parents. I showed my mom some flash mobs from One Billion Rising. Her response: "I want to do it with you next year!"

Day 46: Willingness to Serve + Lessons in Politics

Today I learned...
...that sometimes people will get under your skin and make you angry. Being human is part of life. Serving these people even when they have made you angry is how you show that you value them and your role.

Today I am thankful for...
...a husband who has the knowledge and life experience to teach me so many political and historical lessons.

Day 45: Valentines + Sisterhood

Today I learned...
...that leaving valentines for strangers is loving, special, and meaningful. There's a first time for everything!

Today I am thankful for...
...a powerful movement called One Billion Rising. I intermittently bawled and got chills while watching live streams and videos of women all over the world dancing to demand an end to violence against women. I made my own video of dancing in solidarity with the movement since I could not be part of an organized event.

Day 44: Technology + Parking Spot

 

 Today I learned...

...that my iPhone 5 can do soooooo many things I always imagined phones would be able to do when I was a kid dreaming of futuristic possibilities.

Today I am thankful for...

...a really close parking spot at grad school tonight - because it was snowing when I left the building to drive home!

Day 43: Wegmans + Emails

Today I learned...
...that I miss grocery shopping! Rick and I always did our grocery shopping at Wegmans on Saturdays and since I always work on Saturdays these days, he does the errands. I haven't been grocery shopping in weeks. I went this afternoon to pick up a few things for the house and a few things for the graduate school student body (I'm President of the Student Association). Walking in there, purchasing my coffee, and perusing the aisles was like...exciting!

Today I am thankful for...
...great email conversations with my friend, Jenn. You know you have a good friend when Facebook messenger is down and you are horribly disappointed, because you were all set to write to her and she to you!

Day 42: Rick Humor + Kind Auto Repair

Today I learned...
...that some people find Rick as funny as I do. :-)

Today I am thankful for...
...the guys at Two Brothers Auto who put a new battery in my car so I don't get stranded somewhere...and who gave my car an oil change so my engine runs well...and who greeted me with an exuberant, "Hi, Arielle!" when I walked in the door, even though they didn't even know I was coming in with my troublesome car with the hope they could take care of it on the spot. When I looked surprised and said, "Oh! You remember me?" they laughed and said, "Of course."

Day 41: Studying + the iPhone!

Today I learned...
...that studying for this licensure exam with a team of my fabulous classmates is much better than studying for it alone. Yay for teamwork and camaraderie.

Today I am thankful for...
...my brand new iPhone5! My 3GS got an upgrade today. And thanks to my dad, I am the proud owner of this glorious little technological tool that makes my busy life sooooo much easier on the go. :-)

Day 40: My Message + Nana

Today I learned...
...that I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to say to girls out there. While I was busy writing papers this morning, I received an email from someone asking for advice on how to talk to a 12 year old girl about body dissatisfaction, comparisons to others, and negative self-worth. It got me thinking - like REALLY thinking - so I filmed an 8 minute video, specifically for girls. You know...those wonderful little creatures who grow up to be women. I couldn't even continue what I was doing until I made this video. Do you have a daughter? A grand-daughter? A niece? A little sister? A student? If there is any girl in your life, this is what I want to tell her. This is what she needs to hear. It's not even really about eating disorders. It's about self-love. It's about life. 

Today I am thankful for...
...being able to celebrate my Nana's birthday with her. Most of the family went out to dinner tonight and it was nice to just look at my grandmother from across the table, sitting there in her red shirt and her salt and pepper hair, and just smile...and watch her smile back.

Day 39: Thanks in Advance + A Weekend

Today I learned...
...that saying thank you for an outcome in advance really takes away from all the time I used to worry about something. Like, instead of saying, "I hope this won't happen" or "I wish it wasn't going to be this way," I say, "Thank you for the amazing resolution to this problem" or "Thank you for this working out so well!" And here's the trick: I really mean it. And then it's almost like I KNOW it's going to be resolved and wonderful and I'll be thankful, so I don't have to bother worrying needlessly. I didn't come by this trick on  my own, so I'm not taking credit for it, but I have recognized the benefits of it in a big way.

Today I am thankful for...
...not having to get up for work in the morning. Normally I work on Saturdays all day, but we're supposed to get lots of snow, so I'll be home. Even though I'll be shoveling, I will be able to sleep a little longer and get more things done around the house. Knowing that when I go to bed tonight is bliss!

Day 38: Listening + Driving Anxiety

Today I learned...
...that sometimes people just need to be heard. I made a home hospice visit today, armed with resources and suggestions and options for a patient's caregiver daughter. She didn't want any of them...yet my visit was very successful. I listened. I validated. I encouraged. I supported. And though I left feeling like I had not "given" anything... in retrospect I think I gave the woman just what she needed.

Today I am thankful for...
...a noticeable decrease in my driving anxiety. I've really been using gratitude to combat it (sounds strange, but it's private and it works!) and it was tested today. Scale of 1-10, it was mere 1. Yay!

Day 37: Group Projects + Love Notes

Today I learned...
...that a group project doesn't have to be a chore. Normally when the term "group project" is uttered in a school setting - whether that setting be high school, undergrad university, or graduate school - it strikes fear and trepidation in the hearts of most. Maybe it's just the fact that we're social workers and care about each other a lot, but I'm working on a group project right now and it's smooth sailing. There haven't been many times I've been able to say that about group work. Tonight, armed with a laptop, we easily and efficiently planned and planted all our PowerPoint slides into one presentation in less than an hour. There is no worry about one person doing more work than another. There is no fear that a deadline won't be met. Yay! Go team!

Today I am thankful for...
...the note from Rick that was waiting for me when I arrived home after a long day and night. It made me smile, as his notes usually do.

Day 36: Surprise Sincerity + a Nomination

Today I learned...
...that a lot of people really look forward to the letters I leave for strangers that I post about on Mondays. Multiple people have stopped me throughout my day on a Monday to ask me excitedly where I left my letter. Multiple people have told me that my Letters on Monday is one good thing about Mondays now! Multiple people have thanked me for doing it, because it inspires them or makes them feel good. And multiple people have told me that they pretend the letters I leave for strangers (and then post) are for them.

All of this makes me so happy. And yet, I am surprised every time I learn about another person who is waiting for the announcement of the next letter. It's such a learning experience. I am surprised by the sincerity and straightforwardness with which people approach me about this. I am taken aback when they express excitement or eagerness and ARE NOT AFRAID TO SAY SO OUT LOUD. I love that. And yes, I will always tell you where I left my Monday letter - though you may have to wait until it appears on Facebook or my personal blog. And yes, it IS one good thing about Mondays now! That's part of the point. I like to put a positive spin on things that aren't always seen so positively. And yes, I love to inspire and make you feel good. You can do what I'm doing. I'm not special. :-) And yes, the letters are as much for YOU as they are for the people who find them. That's the reason why I post photos of the actual letters I leave instead of just saying that I left another letter. If you read it and it speaks to you, take it to heart. It's for you.

Today I am thankful for...
...the nomination for the Love Warrior 2013 award. The EDRS (Eating Disorder Recovery Support, Inc.) nominated 5 women and I am honored to be among them, because quite frankly, they all rock! The winner will be announced at their annual conference on Feb 7th in California. I was invited to the event, but unfortunately due to cost of travel and crazy schedule, had to decline. Regardless of outcome, I am so appreciative for the recognition and the thanks. I feel so blessed these last few weeks!

Day 35: Recognition + Important Words

Today I learned...
...that my hard work does not go unnoticed. I was recognized THREE times today and it felt almost magical and connected. The first was my small bit on the news. The other two recognition instances were total surprises and really made me blush. I won't elaborate just yet...but to be nominated for something special by people I respect means a lot to me.

Today I am thankful for...
...Channel 69 News airing the NUMBER ONE thing I would want aired. Of all the footage they took of me speaking at my home, they could only show a brief clip and what they chose was me saying, "If someone out there is struggling or they know someone who is struggling, there is hope. Recovery can be achieved." Yes, yes, and yes! THANK YOU.

Day 34: Effort Appreciated + Sledding

Today I learned...
...that my small effort of leaving an anonymous letter for a stranger was very appreciated! One of the letters I left at Wegmans was found and the person sent a picture and a thank you to www.moreloveletters.com. They then posted it on the www.moreloveletters.com Facebook page. I stumbled upon it because I follow the www.moreloveletters.com FB page...and man, was I surprised! I teared up immediately reading how the finder appreciated my words. Beautiful..

Today I am thankful for...
...FINALLY going sledding (however briefly) for the FIRST time in my 28 years of life. There is very steep slope behind my house and Rick and I took turns sledding down it in the snow. It was fast! I couldn't stop laughing.

Day 33: Driving Ease + a Magical Day

Today I learned...
...that driving in the car with a really good friend makes driving to new places SO much easier.

Today I am thankful for...
...a magical day of adventures with my dear friend Jenn. She came to see me via bus, and from the moment I picked her up at the bus terminal, I was giddy. We had a day of fabulousness, which includes her meeting all of my family members - every one of them! She met Rick, my mom, my dad, my brother, his wife, my little niece, and even my Mom's best friend - my other mother - Barb! And of course - she met Juice and Tumbler! Many good talks and hugging and squealing and smiling ensued. AND THE BEST PART IS it's just the first of many visits in our future!

Day 32: Saying No + Reassurance

Today I learned...
...that saying "no" is perfectly okay if you're already doing a lot and can't take on more without becoming really stressed...and that people who really care about you won't push you to change your mind.

Today I am thankful for...
...a husband who listens to me moan about directions because of my driving anxiety and helps me navigate my upcoming day over and over.