Day 24: Ethical Dilemmas + Rick's Health

Today I learned...
...that there are very serious situations that are not just black and white. In hospice today, an ethical dilemma was discussed...and I'm damned if I can even choose what I would do in the situation. There's just no good, right answer. So many sides.

Today I am thankful for...
...my husband finally feeling better! He was pretty sick for a few days and went back to work today, feeling almost human. I'm so glad.

Day 17: Death + a Thank You

Today I learned...
...that death can mean so much more than pain and tears...that it can in fact be the best gift of all. At hospice, I met a dear, sweet, very elderly woman with one specific wish: to dance with her husband again. He has been dead for several years and she is more than ready to be with him. She has no regrets, no unfinished business, and no worries. She loved her life and she embraces its final chapter. Death has escaped her these last few days, though she is very weak and very ill. At her extreme age, it's amazing her body has held up through her terminal illness. She longs to die and this makes me happy, not sad. I mean it when I say that I hope she will be dancing with her husband very soon.

Today I am thankful for...
...the chance to tell a particular person that something she suggested changed my life for the better. By chance, this particular woman (whom I first met in October) popped into my life today and I was able to thank her sincerely as well as marvel at the full circle beauty that has since transpired.

Day 10: Dying + Sleep

 

Today I learned...

...that when a person is dying, his or her background does not matter very much. All that matters is that when he is in pain, empathy takes hold. A patient came into hospice today - he had a past laced with negative information and poor choices. I saw a nurse judge him. He wasn't a criminal or an evil person, but he had had a hard life and some consequences ensued. Before he arrived, she mentioned not wanting to touch him, because she found him too gross. As a social worker, I was taken aback by this comment. Hours after he arrived, she came from his bedside and I asked her how he was. She had sadness in her eyes and said she felt sorry for him, because he was in so much pain. After meeting him - and watching his painful state - she had tirelessly ensured his comfort was the number one priority so he could die in peace, and no longer held the notion he was gross. The change in her mindset happened in a matter of hours and I witnessed it.

Today I am thankful for...

...the opportunity to go to sleep early. Many of my days are so long, filled with work and commitments. I have progressively gotten more and more tired as this week wore on, and last night I believe I had less than 5 hours of sleep. So tonight, after a long and tiring day during which I was already running on empty, I am happy that I do not have a 3 hour class. I am happy I do not have to lead a group. I am happy that I do not have to make a video. I am happy that I do not have to write a paper. I am happy that I can go to sleep earlier than usual!